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a bimbo named disaster

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5/26/05 10:15 am - throw yr hands in the AY-ER and wave em like you just don't CAY-ER

1) i hate vanilla wotever MOFFINS. they suck. they make me want to DIE. how dare the coffee shop downstairs run out of cinnamon coffee MOFFINS.

2) i love coffee. it makes me feel POWERFUL and awake. until it makes me feel PARANOID and skittish. and alternately homicidal.

3)

it is an absurd idea that whatever artistic endeavor the government refuses to support it does not allow, as one can see by rephrasing the statement to read: No one is allowed to create art without a government subsidy.

The pattern of reasoning in which one of the following is most similar to that in the argument above?

A) The claim that any driver who is not arrested does not break the law is absurd, as one can see by rewording it: Every driver who breaks the law gets arrested.

B) The claim that any driver who is not arrested does not break the law is absurd, as one can see by rewording it: Every driver who gets arrested has broken the law.

C) The notion that every scientist who is supported by a government grant will be successful is absurd, as one can see by rewording it: No scientist who is successful is so without a government grant.

D) The notion that every scientist who is supported by a government grant will be successful is absurd, as one can see by rewording it: No scientist lacking government support will be successful.

E) The notion that every scientist who has been supported by a government grant will be successful is absurd, as one can see by rewording it: No scientist is allowed to do research without a government grant.


4. plz to add melsa AT thematrixonline DOT com to yr AIM buddy list.

5.

6. it's such a fucking goddamn pain not hotlinking images. damn you, kennhat.

7. MEGACHURCHES
In South Barrington, Illinois, just northwest of Chicago, lies a 155-acre campus resembling a junior college or perhaps a manufacturer of something clean, like pharmaceuticals or computer parts. On one side of the main compound is a greensward, on another side is a five-acre reflecting pond, and out in front are vast black slabs of endless parking, where swarms of men wearing reflective vests and radio headsets assist drivers attempting to find an open space. Shuttle buses loop around the lots; sometimes it's so busy that off-duty cops are hired to help direct traffic.

It looks like a mall on a busy holiday weekend, but it is the Willow Creek Community Church, and it could be any weekend. In almost every city or suburb of more than 200,000 there is a similar megachurch, as they are known, a product of suburban sprawl, religious marketing, consumer demand, the entertainment economy, and the good old-fashioned yearning for communal experience. Megachurches draw young, committed, and energetic members; listen to parishioners talk and you will hear a refrain of growth—"we're growing"—as if it were proof of redemptive success. And they deliver a highly emotional product: the marriage of group affiliation and a conversion experience, complete with videos, pop music, and other modern dramatic flourishes.


8. THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB IS YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB

Gleason’s Gym created the concept of White Collar Boxing. The need for this program arose because of the numerous men and women that began training at the gym in the mid [90?]s. The boxing workout is addictive and the non-amateurs and professionals wanted to compete. After conferring unsuccessfully with the Amateur Boxing President and the New York State Athletic Commission, Gleason’s Gym created it’s own White Collar league.

Both men and women can participate in the shows. The bouts are 3 rounds of tow minutes each. Now winner or loser is declared and both participants receive a trophy at the end of the contest. Registered amateur Boxers and Professional Boxers are not permitted in the White Collar Boxing program...

...Starring white collar workers learning the art under our supervision who work in the legal profession for leading institutions such as: the State of New York, Davis Polk and Wardell, Allen & Overy, Skadden Arps Slate Meagher & Flom, S J Berwin, Linklaters, CMS Cameron & McKenna, Richards Butler, Goldman Sachs, J P Morgan Chase Bank, Cleary Gottlieb Steen & Hamilton, Judicium and many more - in 3 x 2 minute round non-decision bouts regulated by the IWCBA...

...Judge Maier is no novice — he took up boxing in 1997 — but this is the first time that he will have fought at an event at which all the boxers are lawyers. He is the veteran of 51 white-collar fights, the last of which was against a performance artist who filmed their bout by means of a camera strapped to his head. “He kept telling me to hit him hard,” Judge Maier says. “But I wouldn’t. White-collar boxing is about fun, not hurting people.”


oh chuck palahniuk, i thought you made it all up but it was an old idea. pooh, POOH i say.

9. remember the neverending story? i feel like watching that again. i hope it lives up to my childhood memories of it. it totally fucked with my fucking world back in tha day. also, i thought atreyu was dreamy in wot i suppose now was a significant androgynous sense. ALSO, bastian was such a fucking wimp. ALSO ALSO, i <3'd the big fucking dog dragon thing. he rocked my socks.


GAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

10. knowing there's so much 20th century philosophy i haven't read yet makes me so unbearably sad sometimes. if only i had time to read!

11. GAME BOY MICRO



12. sorrh, but i can't help but find this so incredibly and tragically wrongheaded. oh. OH.


it's time for a good old fashioned freak-out!
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